Life After the Sudden Death of Darren; My Husband, Soulmate and Best Friend
Practical help, bereavement resources and real-life experience for when somebody dies and you haven’t a clue what you’re supposed to do next.
Hello, and thanks for visiting What Now After Loss. I created this website after my husband, Darren, died suddenly and completely unexpectedly at home on 25 May 2026. He was only 52. Our world changed overnight. There was no will, no list of passwords or instructions and absolutely no reason for us to have thought we needed any of those things sorted at our age. Suddenly, alongside trying to deal with losing Darren, there was a whole world of things I knew absolutely nothing about.
I started writing and recording what I was going through, partly to help myself and partly because I realised how bloody difficult it is to find your way through all of this when your brain isn’t functioning properly.
What Now has grown from there. You’ll find practical bereavement guides and printable resources, a directory of bereavement support across Northern Ireland and Ireland, events and fundraising, and my blog about grief and life after losing Darren.
If something here makes even one part of this a little easier, then I’m glad you found it.
What Do You Need Right Now?
If somebody has died and you haven’t a clue what you’re supposed to do next, start here.
You don’t need to work everything out at once. Start with where you are right now; whether somebody has just died, you’re trying to get through the first few days, organising a funeral, working out who needs told or wondering what can wait.
Not sure where to begin? These practical guides and free printable checklists cover some of the things that may need done after someone dies, alongside the things that can usually wait.
Events
Latest Blog Articles
To Eyes That are Bright as Stars When They’re Shining on Me!*
Today would have been mammy’s 95th birthday. It’s not a case of me ever forgetting her birthday. I always remember it. But today is her first birthday since Darren died, and my head was filled with so many thoughts and emotions this morning. I was 13 when my father died. Nine months later, my grandfather,…
Day 150 of Grief: Creating a Christmas Resource and The Ewings
I am going to put together a guide on how to survive Christmas with grief. This is the beginning of me putting one together, written as Dan and I try to work out how to get through our first Christmas without Darren. I will only fully create the resource when I know how it has…
Day 128: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
He’s never coming back. What an awful thought. He has to come back. I keep seeing him. It’s just not possible that Darren is dead. It can’t be the end. It not possible that I will never see him again. He was my one. He was my rock. He helped make me. I had him…
We are All Born Mad. Some Remain So.
Daniel is going on a school trip to London to see different theatre shows in the New Year, and I thought, my goodness, I might go too. Not stuck beside him like some mad clingy parent, but if he was over in London going to theatre shows, I could maybe go over as well, do…
Day 17 / 18 of Grief: Teeth, Shit Men and Anger
This is dated the 10th of June, by the way, in case I ever want a record of when I was saying this. I, I can’t get the image out of my head of when he was lying there, when he was put into the small room and the blue sheet that they put over…
Day 37 of Grief: Where Do I Go When There’s a Joke?
(recorded on phone- imaginary chats with darren) Aren’t we something? Oh my God, you’re a great designer. You’re the best. And how lucky of me, I could always defer to you about design things. Nerdy things. We’d chat about web design and UX, or issues with sites you were working on – or I would…