Life After the Sudden Death of Darren; My Husband, Soulmate and Best Friend
Practical help, bereavement resources and real-life experience for when somebody dies and you haven’t a clue what you’re supposed to do next.
Hello, and thanks for visiting What Now After Loss. I created this website after my husband, Darren, died suddenly and completely unexpectedly at home on 25 May 2026. He was only 52. Our world changed overnight. There was no will, no list of passwords or instructions and absolutely no reason for us to have thought we needed any of those things sorted at our age. Suddenly, alongside trying to deal with losing Darren, there was a whole world of things I knew absolutely nothing about.
I started writing and recording what I was going through, partly to help myself and partly because I realised how bloody difficult it is to find your way through all of this when your brain isn’t functioning properly.
What Now? has grown from there. You’ll find practical bereavement guides and printable resources, a directory of bereavement support across Northern Ireland and Ireland, events and fundraising, and my blog about grief and life after losing Darren.
If something here makes even one part of this a little easier, then I’m glad you found it.
What Do You Need Right Now?
If somebody has died and you haven’t a clue what you’re supposed to do next, start here.
You don’t need to work everything out at once. Start with where you are right now; whether somebody has just died, you’re trying to get through the first few days, organising a funeral, working out who needs told or wondering what can wait.
Latest Blog Articles
Day 64 of Grief: The ‘Magical Power’ of Misery.
So here is a strange case. I went to the dentist today, and I hate going to the dentist. No thats a lie, I dont hate dentists, its a necessary evil- and they rid you of dental pain, so they are quite godly actually! It was just a check-up and clean, but I get quite…
Day 118 of Grief: Lesbian Horror and Imaginary Cousins
So today is Saturday, the 19th of September. I have got a dreadful back-to-school bug which is living in my throat and chest, and my whole head has just been completely screwed this past week. I have had a severe lack of sleep because the sore throat has kept me awake, no matter what medication…
Day 27 of Grief: Fathers Day
(From recording) So, what is this? Sunday, whatever of June, possibly. I have been cleaning for a while, I guess. It’s Father’s Day in the real world. I’m like one of those Traveller women who spend their lives fucking cleaning. Could do with a few of them around here. The state of this house when…
Oh, Your Hair is Beautiful! Choosing Music For Darren’s Celebration and Cremation
One of the things Darren and I never put a great deal of thought into was what music we would have at our funerals. Why would we? Maybe if we were having a drink, having a laugh and chatting about music, we would talk about a song we would want played at our funeral. But…
A Cup of Tea and a Diazepam (Day 102)
A cup of tea and a diazepam. This is what is going to get me through today. I’ve been like this since Wednesday. Daniel went back to school yesterday, and it triggered the reality of it. The awfulness. I can’t stop crying. I can’t stop thinking about him. I can’t remember how he laughed, and…
Day 101 of Grief: Back to School
In some ways, I cannot believe it has been over 100 days since Darren passed. Daniel is back at school tomorrow, and today both of us were pretty shaky. I think it was me who set him off because he found me crying. I could not stop thinking about the fact that, on Daniel’s first…