Choosing Funeral Music That Actually Means Something
One of the things Darren and I never put a great deal of thought into was what music we would have at our funerals. Why would we? Darren was 52. He wasn’t ill. There was absolutely no reason to think this was a conversation we needed to have. Then suddenly he had passed away and, within days, I had to organise a celebration for him. That also meant picking the songs to go along with it.
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Where Do You Start?
It’s a bit crazy when you think about it. You have to come up with songs that are fitting and that somehow represent the person, all within a very short period of time. Your head is completely screwed, and it’s difficult to think of even the most obvious things. I had to think: what bands are them; what songs are his; what and who represents him?
When your brain isn’t giving you the answers, ask family and friends what music they immediately associate with the person. Someone else may remember something obvious that you simply cannot think of.
Choose Music That Represents Them
The thing I kept reminding myself was that this wasn’t my event. It was Darren’s. I didn’t need to pick songs simply because they were funeral songs. I needed to pick songs that represented him, his life, the bands he loved and the music he loved. You’re not looking for the perfect song. There is no song that could ever sum a person up. You’re just choosing songs that are representative of them and the sort of music they loved.
(One piece of advice I would give anyone is to listen to the whole song before deciding to use it. A song can drag, the mood can change halfway through or it might simply not work when you hear it in full.)
Get the Ideas Out of Your Head
That’s why I created the Choosing Funeral Music That Actually Means Something worksheet. It gives you somewhere to record the bands and songs they loved, music connected to particular memories, suggestions from other people and your possible choices for different parts of the funeral.
Download Choosing Funeral Music That Means Something Worksheet
A free printable worksheet to help you choose music that genuinely represents the person who died
Related Guidance
For help with the other choices involved in arranging the ceremony, return to Planning a Funeral When You Haven’t a Clue What You’re Doing.
If you are also trying to find the words to describe the person you love, see Help Writing a Eulogy or Funeral Tribute.