What to Do When Someone Dies in Northern Ireland

If somebody has just died and you haven’t a clue what you’re supposed to do next, start here.

When Darren died suddenly, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know a funeral director. I didn’t know what happened when somebody died unexpectedly at home. I didn’t know what needed done immediately, what could wait, or half the things I was going to have to deal with over the following weeks and months. And my brain wasn’t exactly in a state to start researching it. That’s really why this section exists.

What to Do When Someone Dies in Northern Ireland

If somebody has just died and you haven’t a clue what you’re supposed to do next, start here.

When Darren died suddenly, I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know a funeral director. I didn’t know what happened when somebody died unexpectedly at home. I didn’t know what needed done immediately, what could wait, or half the things I was going to have to deal with over the following weeks and months. And my brain wasn’t exactly in a state to start researching it. That’s really why this section exists.

Has somebody just died?

If the death has literally just happened, don’t start thinking about pensions, probate, cancelling subscriptions or what you’re going to do with their belongings. There may be immediate things that need dealt with, particularly if the death was sudden or unexpected. My Day One After a Sudden Death guide is about those first hours and simply getting through today. → Day One After a Sudden Death

Are you trying to get through the first few days?

Once you get beyond those first hours, other things start appearing. There may be a funeral to organise. People need told. You may need to find documents or make phone calls. Meanwhile, children still need you, pets need fed and somehow ordinary life keeps happening. The First Week After Someone Dies checklist separates some of the things that may need attention from all the things that really don’t need sorted yet. → The First Week After Someone Dies

Are you trying to organise the funeral?

I had never organised a funeral before Darren died. I wouldn’t have known one funeral director in the whole wide world. We also knew we didn’t want a traditional Christian funeral, which meant working out what the alternatives actually were. If this is the bit you’re dealing with now, I’ve put together a guide to the choices involved, including religious, Humanist and celebrant-led funerals, burial and cremation, costs, music and some of the other decisions that suddenly land in front of you. → Planning a Funeral in Northern Ireland

Are you wondering who you’re supposed to tell?

You don’t have to notify everybody today. There are people and organisations that may need to know quite quickly and others that can wait. I’ve created a checklist to give you somewhere to start rather than trying to remember every employer, bank, insurer, pension provider, utility company and organisation yourself. → Who Needs to Know Someone Has Died?

Do people keep asking, “Is there anything I can do?”

This is a lovely question. It’s also surprisingly difficult to answer when your brain is completely screwed. I often didn’t know what somebody could do because working out what I needed and then asking someone to do it felt like another job. So I created a practical list of things other people can actually take off your hands, from food and dog walking to phone calls, lifts and funeral jobs. → What Can Other People Do for Me?

Is your head filling up with everything you think you need to do?

This happened to me very quickly. Banks. Pensions. Paperwork. The house. Accounts. Belongings. Passwords. All these things start appearing in your head as if they need dealt with immediately. They don’t all need dealt with immediately. I’ve made a simple What Can Wait? resource for exactly this reason. → What Can Wait?

Has the person died without leaving a will?

When Darren died, there was no will, the house was in his name and I had no idea what I was supposed to find or what would happen next. You do not have to understand probate or sort out the whole estate immediately. I’ve put together a practical starting point covering the documents and information you may need to look for. → There Is No Will. What Do I Need to Find?

Do you need bereavement support in Northern Ireland?

Sometimes the next thing you need isn’t another job to do. You may need somebody to talk to, support for a child or young person, help following a sudden or traumatic death, or practical advice about money and legal matters. I’ve gathered Northern Ireland organisations and services together so you don’t have to search for them individually. → Northern Ireland Grief and Bereavement Support Directory