Bereavement Resources & Checklists

I am currently working on this section of the website and will be adding more practical resources over time. These are based on what I went through after Darren died and include checklists or worksheets you can download and print. I hope you find something that makes one part of this a little easier.

The First Days

Day One After a Sudden Death: Just Get Through Today

When somebody dies suddenly, your whole brain function is completely screwed. This looks at what may need done now, what can wait and the ordinary things that still need dealt with.

Read the Day One guide and download the checklist

The First Week After Someone Dies

The first week after Darren died is pretty much a blur to me. There was a funeral to organise, people to contact and a growing list of things that suddenly needed my attention. This checklist covers some of the things that may come up during that first week, while reminding you that you don’t have to sort everything immediately.

Read the First Week guide and download the checklist

What Can Wait?

When somebody dies, it can feel as though everything needs done immediately. It doesn’t. This worksheet helps you separate what may need your attention now from the things that can usually wait until you have more time, information or headspace.

Read the guide and download the What Can Wait? worksheet

Keeping Track of Everything

My Bereavement Notebook

One of the best things I did after Darren died was find a cheap notebook and start writing everything down. This printable workbook gives you somewhere to keep names, phone numbers, conversations, reference numbers, questions, follow-up dates and all the other information your head shouldn’t have to carry.

Who Needs to Know Someone Has Died?

As well as telling family and friends, there can be employers, banks, pension providers, insurance companies, government departments and all sorts of smaller organisations that need contacted. This worksheet helps you record who may need told, who you have contacted, what they said and what needs to happen next.

Read the guide and download the Who Needs to Know worksheet

Digital Life After Someone Dies

A phone isn’t just a phone, and an email account isn’t just an email account. They may contain photographs, messages, bills, subscriptions, account information and access codes you don’t yet realise you need. This worksheet helps you keep track of phones, computers, email addresses, passwords, photographs, online accounts and the things you know exist but can’t access.

Read the Digital Life guide and download the worksheet

Planning the Funeral

Planning a Funeral When You Haven’t a Clue What You’re Doing

I’d never had to organise a funeral before Darren died and didn’t really know what choices we had. This covers funeral options in Northern Ireland, burial and cremation, costs and some of the decisions you may need to make. It includes a printable Planning a Funeral in Northern Ireland checklist.

Read the funeral planning guide and download the checklist

Funeral Costs: Questions Before I Agree

When you are arranging a funeral, you may be asked to make financial decisions about things you have never bought before and have no idea what they should cost. This worksheet helps you record prices, compare options and ask what is included, necessary or optional before you agree to anything.

Read the guide and download the Funeral Costs worksheet

Help Writing a Eulogy or Funeral Tribute

How do you sum up somebody’s life when your brain is barely functioning? This worksheet helps prompt the stories, habits, people and little things that made the person uniquely them. It includes a printable worksheet.

Read the guide and download the eulogy worksheet

Choosing Funeral Music That Actually Means Something

Choosing funeral music can feel like an enormous job when your brain is already trying to process what has happened. This worksheet helps you think about the bands, artists and songs the person actually loved, rather than giving you a list of generic funeral songs.

Read the funeral music guide and download the worksheet

Paperwork and Practical Life

There Is No Will. What Do I Need to Find?

When somebody dies without leaving a will, it can be difficult to know what paperwork or information you should even be looking for. This worksheet gives you somewhere to record what you find, what may exist and what you still need to ask about. It isn’t legal advice, but it can help you begin gathering the information you may need.

Read the guide and download the No Will worksheet

The Things They Normally Did

When somebody dies, it isn’t only the huge things that change. There are all the ordinary things they did that you probably never thought about because they simply got on with them. This worksheet helps you write down household jobs, bills, appointments, pet care and all the other things that may now need somebody else’s attention.

Read the guide and download The Things They Normally Did worksheet

Letting Other People Help

What Can Other People Do for Me?

When somebody asks, “Is there anything I can do?”, you might genuinely have no idea. Working out what you need and then actually asking for it can feel like another job. This printable checklist helps you identify practical things other people could take off your hands, from food and pets to funeral jobs, messages and paperwork. It also includes a page you can share with somebody who wants to help.

More Resources to be Added

I’ll continue adding resources and checklists as I create them or as I go through a situation and think about ways to help others out.

You don’t have to read or download everything. Start with whatever might make today slightly easier and leave the rest until you need it. If you are looking for an organisation, helpline, counselling service or another source of support, visit the Northern Ireland Grief and Bereavement Support Directory.